Patient is the word!!!

hmmm....i know i know....the word "patient" is not connected to me....but then off late i realised that i had to imbibe it to my daily life. Sounds funny...hmm..but its not.
I wanted to save this word in my life as i knew ; without this i may loose my loved once for ever. I knew that i am short tempered and lack patience..but i guess i took that for granted and thought things would fall into its own places when, if ever, things go wrong. But no i was absolutely wrong; infact things started falling off and i was going mad; not able to think good and fearing that i might do or say something , only to see that my ppl are hurt.
I wanted to speak and spill out things that was running in my mind , that i knew was stronger and akin to a fatal poison. I knew it back in my mind that my short temperament was poisoning my thoughts..i was loosing control over it.. :(
May be it got aggravated due to my hormonal changes that i am undergoing now(going to b a mom :-I)..but i knew even this is lame excuse.

As usual i had the man in my life who is the translator of my thoughts and shows me a path to a happy side of life. Speaking to raj was even fearful..i had to explain him things that i dint mean but is happening to me..i wanted to burst and cry loud to tell him that i am going crazy, i need help and that i had tried to come out of it...
Knowing that the situation is the most delicate one..and knowing that he might have to face it one day...raj was prepared and had a solution to it....he did pull me out of the tangled web easily.

His words , his explanation and yes of course his patient manner of handling things..did push me to think and work for changing myself..and being patient to this world!!!
I have decided to do so ... i do not want to loose the people whom i love the most..they are my only real treasure....i have...

love u muttu.........and thanks for being there .....all the time....:)

after a while....

"Lost" is the word that describes me best at this moment.

Responsibilities mounting daily, busy life not less than a machine..where is the time left for me to even breath leave alone to have a glimpse of my inner self. My desires, my dreams, my interests.....all are at hold; If you ask me why..i have no answer to it....My be the world is moving fast and preparing for its Armageddon....

Not that i am not enjoying this cluster of events in my life...i am the happiest ever and ever...but ached that for once.... if the world could come to a stand still and i could cherish those few moments.....of me....with me..... and with my loved ones....!!!!!!!!

Without any understanding of my next station...i am on track though but may be without brakes :)

I am lost....yet life moves on..!!

Perfect Monday blues..:(

"Monday blues"- something that most of the working world talks about..But is it categorized? Well i was unaware of it!!!..possibility that either i never bothered or i tried to keep myself busy throughout the week :).[well the chances that i never bothered is more real:) ]. After a weekend trip to Kerala when i returned back home, i found that my home was as if ,dipped in dust bag and kept aside. There were layers of dust inside the house(as well). Before even thinking of cleaning my self, i had to clean the whole house. I am an incorrigible cleaner and as also i am allergic to dust..I just had to finish cleaning!!!..I thought by cleaning the floors nd stuff it should be fine...Quietly that day went through without any more strife.
The very next day i just had to push the curtains that again there was a storm of dust all over me & this time it was severe..i was sneezing..sneezing..sneezing and sneezing [aaaacheeeeee...aaacheeee...ufff aaaacheeee!!!!]..And i decided to fight back (yes indeed a fight..and the enemy is DUST),...All the curtains in the house was dumped into the washing machine and all the windows were vacuum cleaned...In 2 days the house was immaculately clean " spick and span".It was a relief even though i was down with cold for another 2 -3 days...Although the cleaning was with a purpose..i never knew how that week got over as out of excitement i did all at once..I was so busy that i enjoyed every bit of doing my work...Cleaning, ironing, washing, reading.. i was so packed that i didn't have the time to think poppycock (rubbish)!!...by the end of the week i didn't have any thing to do...i was done with all my work..On Monday morning after sending raj to office..i didn't know what to do..even reading was uninteresting and irksome..hated watching tv...even sleeping what dreary and bleak ..I just didn't know what to do and praying for the day to end soon...For no reason i was irritated to the core...i could nd would have bashed and pounded on someone if they played with me...Knowing that i was nd may be in with the so called 'Monday blues', i just didn't want to believe it. It felt like a disease to me and i was feeling sick..Also i had to attend a reception and didn't feel like getting decked up..but forcibly i did.and went for the party with my hubby...On the way, i told him about my feelings..and he tried to comfort me...by providing me reasons to it..which at that point was sounding strange and alien to me..I was wondering what crap is he talking about...Also being conscious that i was in some dirty mood i was able to hold myself back and not respond (well that's something favourable to me...i can sometime simply not react); and repeating constantly to my self that i just have to wait for another few more hours and the day will end..soooooooooooooon...Well yes the day never ended sooon...with few more botheration's i somehow managed to close my eyes.and of course praying and hoping to meet a new tomorrow....and never to strike with any blues ever!!!!
goodnight..sweetdreams.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Unforgotten..!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well as i plan to get into this blogging affairs..i am wondering how do i go about it..!! Since totally confused & in search for a subject ( simultaneously shifting tabs and checking out what and how my friends have inaugurated theirs) I come to a conclusion that i shall write about my self. As i always wanted to write(not abut me..but generally.) but never got an appropriate or an convenient mode of doing it. Dairy-writing was my early interest ,but as the years passed by and always with an excuse for not writing, eventually my interest in it was fading. After marriage Raj (my friend, better-half ..legal name HUSBAND..wink:)) ,who is a tech ,but mostly comp-freak was obviously asking me to use computer rather than diary (well he did try his best to promote computer..but i unapologetically stuck to my diary..though i DID give a second thought!!)..Finally,actually thanks to ORKUT and my friend cuckoo (specially) whose writings inspired me to write again (my long-forgotten interest/dream/wish.. whatever)...
So here i am back with/in my world...my writings...and my LIFE...
Hope all of you enjoy the ride and i ur chauffeur shall take you to different places (here places are different ppls life) and ensure a safe journey......Bon voyage!!!!!!!!!!!