Patient is the word!!!

hmmm....i know i know....the word "patient" is not connected to me....but then off late i realised that i had to imbibe it to my daily life. Sounds funny...hmm..but its not.
I wanted to save this word in my life as i knew ; without this i may loose my loved once for ever. I knew that i am short tempered and lack patience..but i guess i took that for granted and thought things would fall into its own places when, if ever, things go wrong. But no i was absolutely wrong; infact things started falling off and i was going mad; not able to think good and fearing that i might do or say something , only to see that my ppl are hurt.
I wanted to speak and spill out things that was running in my mind , that i knew was stronger and akin to a fatal poison. I knew it back in my mind that my short temperament was poisoning my thoughts..i was loosing control over it.. :(
May be it got aggravated due to my hormonal changes that i am undergoing now(going to b a mom :-I)..but i knew even this is lame excuse.

As usual i had the man in my life who is the translator of my thoughts and shows me a path to a happy side of life. Speaking to raj was even fearful..i had to explain him things that i dint mean but is happening to me..i wanted to burst and cry loud to tell him that i am going crazy, i need help and that i had tried to come out of it...
Knowing that the situation is the most delicate one..and knowing that he might have to face it one day...raj was prepared and had a solution to it....he did pull me out of the tangled web easily.

His words , his explanation and yes of course his patient manner of handling things..did push me to think and work for changing myself..and being patient to this world!!!
I have decided to do so ... i do not want to loose the people whom i love the most..they are my only real treasure....i have...

love u muttu.........and thanks for being there .....all the time....:)

after a while....

"Lost" is the word that describes me best at this moment.

Responsibilities mounting daily, busy life not less than a machine..where is the time left for me to even breath leave alone to have a glimpse of my inner self. My desires, my dreams, my interests.....all are at hold; If you ask me why..i have no answer to it....My be the world is moving fast and preparing for its Armageddon....

Not that i am not enjoying this cluster of events in my life...i am the happiest ever and ever...but ached that for once.... if the world could come to a stand still and i could cherish those few moments.....of me....with me..... and with my loved ones....!!!!!!!!

Without any understanding of my next station...i am on track though but may be without brakes :)

I am lost....yet life moves on..!!