Pain.....

And the pain continues. Yes! wheather i am careful or careless, the pain that i will have to carry all my life had to sow its seed and so yet another fall . This one i know for sure is going to give me the hardest unberable pain in future.And if you are thinking that i did not use medications, then let me justify it, my stars were not  with me .The medical shop closed and also couldn apply any balm as nature knocked my doors and there too i could not stop whats on its way. So what do i do know...?? Still undergo medications  hoping that atleast to some degree i should be able to lessen the unpleasant feeling that is going to be conveyed to my brain by sensory neurons.

p.s... To see the future and not be able to do something about it, is a naked feeling.

funny it is!!

When i was a kiddo, i just awed watching young smart beautiful working ladies independently and confidently living their lives and just wanted and dreamed to b one like them and so longed longed and longed  to grow up faster and like my idols....But now when i am living that dream, i wish to go back and be a kiddo again.Dont ask me why....its not easy living this dream. But i know ,for sure, that this cannot be reversed and so i chose an alternative.... to live like a kid with my kid...:)
 And i am loving it!!!

NOTHING and CONFUSION

I am a natural observer, but i realized it quite late in my life. Though after that, not that i trained it better , but made a point to look out wide and wider.I am not pointing anyone (i do at times to please myself) and i am not saying it in loud; but i have had people around me who couldn't get my true interests and encourage me in it.No doubt they wanted me to have a better and happy life and so they rather required me to follow the traditional ways, which was never my interest. And what happened.

Admitting that i have not even closely  achieved the bare minimum, i am hereby now floating in the mid-way. So what did i achieve yet in my life...??? NOTHING and CONFUSION. So what do i do now/further?? Achieve it!.. Is it possible..?? How do i go about it?? Should i even try?? and the list goes on......nd on. I had been in a job for a very small time and i intensively enjoyed it (working as Pr executive). It gave me absolute satisfaction. I knew this is where i fit and will only augment my talent. This is one job that could only have helped me reach/meet my inner self BUT i am no more a free bird ,who could carelessly fly around anywhere. I have a family to take care of. I have a daughter who needs me 24/7 and I want to be for her.I want her to chase her dreams and better her talent.

Life for me now is like a tug of war , between my family /my world and my interests/inner self. Will this struggle ever come to a peaceful end ? I have no clue. I end my thoughts by quoting this--"The only pressure I'm under is the pressure I've put on myself." - Mark Messier